Make it stop

 A horrible thing has happened to me. I have developed standards. Standards beyond, "Are you an attractive male okay let's go awesome." One may think this is a good thing, but having rigid standards couple with my need for constant attention can really only end in disaster. You see, on a daily basis, the townspeople need to make a sacrifice to my giant ego, or terror and disaster will ensue. This sacrifice can come in the form of a cat call, getting hit on, getting complimented, and so on and so forth. My ego is the equivalent of the Old Testament God; if things don't go its way, you'd better believe humanity is getting wiped out.

Having standards makes it really, really hard for my ego to be fed. See, now my ego used to respond to sacrifices of drooling morons; now it only responds to boys with an extensive background in literature and the fine arts. These people by the way aren't common between the ages of 20-30, and probably not that common beyond those years either. This means my fucking ego is hungry, okay? I need someone to hold me and tell me that my gray hairs are distinguished, and that I look hot with an extra 5 pounds. This is getting ridiculous.

I went out with my friend AA last night, and we decided enough was enough. We were going to lower our normally sickeningly rigid screening process, and talk to some bros. I mean without giving them an IQ test beforehand. So we meet our valiant goal and end up talking to two strangers. Actually, for quite a while. Several shots and a cab ride to a 4 am bar later, we decided it was time for us to pass out (alone and clothed). We parted ways with our anonymous bar friends, and as is my custom, I did not give out my number. And only on our cab ride home did we realize...shit, those guys were actually cool and interesting.

I think I know what's happened to me. My screening process is so difficult that only about 10% of people will actually pass through it upon first encounter. And that part is fine. The troublesome part is, I have confused infrequency with impossibility. I just flat out assume that anyone I meet is a complete idiot, and I'm no longer willing to believe otherwise. Now do I think I missed out on the love(s) of my life? No, chances are, probably not. But I guess this missed encounter has taught me something; just because you keep your legs closed doesn't mean you have to keep your mind closed too. 

Should I post an add on Craigslist?

Ivy