It's because I've been studying for the LSAT. And I was excited to find someone who had also studied for the LSAT. Yup, that's right. My life has been reduced to excitement over someone having filled out a similar standardized test. I gushed about how much I had been studying, and asked him for tips on logic games, and even whipped out my book to open it up to a problem I had been having difficulty with. Maybe not so eager to play teacher (unless I was in a naughty schoolgirl uniform), Attorney Man stopped me mid sentence..."Hey, you don't socially interact much, do you?"
I laughed. Of course I do! Of course I socially interact. It's me, Ivy. I go out 5 nights a week. I've made out with over 250 people. I'm dating 3 guys at any given time. And then it hit me...none of those things have described me since February. Since then I've been the girl who watches CNN, then recaps "interesting" headlines to people she meets. The girl who gets excited about her term papers. The girl. Who brings. Her LSAT book to the bar.
Oh God, oh God, oh God. What has even happened? Why has this happened? When did I go from crazy hot, to crazy boring, to just plain crazy? I guess the thing about dating is that you are only an all star at it the same way you become an all star at anything, really...practice, practice, practice. But the second I started developing other interests such as academics or solidifying friendships, I couldn't even get laid.
This is an apparent discrepancy. One would assume that the more well rounded and interesting you are, the more people will want to date you. Not true. The more well rounded and interesting you are, the more people will think they should want to date you. In reality, I can fully say from experience, men were more drawn to me when I was "that" girl. And by the way, being "that" girl was not a bad thing by any means. Fuck, I was sexy, confident, sure of my self worth, and the idea of penises didn't make me giggle and sweat. Being an avid dater certainly had its advantages.
And I guess I miss that carefree, self assured part of myself that has recently taken a backseat to ambition, reality, and standardized tests. I don't know which is more important; the confidence sex appeal gives me, or learning to cultivate that confidence in new ways. All I know is that I'm in a damn dry spell. And it's time to do a rain dance. And by rain dance, I mean grind on the nearest stranger.
The first step is leaving your books at home,