I have hit a new low. Or all time high. Ivy said high but I'll let you decide.
Yesterday as I was driving to work, I was listening to my favorite morning radio hosts, Eric & Kathy, on The Mix. As is typical for their show, Eric brought up an interesting fact that he had come across; he claimed that, according to a recent survey, the average woman will kiss 29 men in her lifetime. Obviously I scoffed, not believing the number, because I probably kissed 29 men last February alone. Eric then asked for callers to inform the listeners of their numbers. I decided that since I was stuck in traffic, I would call.
I got through. As the first caller. SERIOUSLY? I can't get through to win Maroon 5 tickets, but when it comes to potentially humiliating myself, I beat the entire Chicagoland area? Eff You WTMX, Eff You.
Well, the behinds the scenes operator asked me for my number: "About 100," I proudly said. "100?....do you...do you keep track?" She asked. "I did my junior year of college..." "Well, how old are you?" "22" "Ok...and what's your name?" "Ashley." I am no stranger to pseudonyms obviously and decided if I was going down, so was the name Ashley. I briefly waited to speak to my Radio heros and when I finally started talking to them, I was proud of past conquests. And my wit, which Eric complimented. They asked me several questions including what percentage of my (roughly) 100 men were decent kissers. I confidently informed them that it was only about 20%. We finished chatting and they politely switched to the next caller.
The following caller was another Ashley. This Ashley proudly said that the only man she's kissed is her husband. She then went on to say that she was "shocked" when she heard "the previous caller's number" because she had "some really kinky friends but even they weren't that slutty." Really? Really, real Ashley? She then (almost) saved face by saying it wasn't an insult, but was more the fact that she didn't realize she was so "out of the loop."
Thank goodness for older, slutty ladies. The third caller said that she also thought she was at around 100, but realized it was closer to 200. She continued to explain, for the benefit of the real Ashley, that kissing people wasn't slutty if it stopped there. Eric asked if she agreed with my statistic and Caller Number Three said that I was "Spot. On" because only 1 in 5 men can kiss (sorry guys).
When I told Ivy about this, she agreed with me that it was a new high in my life because "[I] got called slutty on the radio." At first I wasn't sure about that, but after some thought, I feel like this puts me in the same category as Chelsea Handler. She is open and clever about her sluttiness and I aspire to be the same.
For now, I think the fact that I have no qualms about kissing hundreds of strangers should land me my own Vh1 show.
Ally
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