And men think WE'RE oblivious.

This week involved me having to resort to disgustingly blunt measures to weed away the male suitors (I use this term...loosely at best) who will NOT SHUT UP. I have tried being unresponsive, flat out rude, telling them I was not looking for anything, saying we should be just friends, and so on and so forth...I busted out every line in my rejection arsenal. Now before you think I am greedy and turning away lovely gentleman, allow me to assure you that both of these guys suck, in new and fantastic ways.

Got booty call text from Booty Caller Thursday night. I have yet to give him any booty, so I do not know why I have become his main resource. I had to put an end to it. Midnight rolled around (on the DOT! this is becoming ridiculous) and I got the, "Hey I'm in the area, what's up?" OF COURSE you are in the area. You live in Lincoln Park. I live 15 minutes away. You are always, every night, about 15 minutes away from the area. This is not a special occasion.

I responded, "I'm sorry. We want different things. For example, I'd like someone capable of contacting me before midnight."

No response. The Booty Caller has been silenced. I will remember him always as the one who got away.

Boy 2. Boy who, while we were dating in November, left me. For a Reverend. No I'm not kidding, he left me for a chick reverend, which is a huge slap in the face because I am agnostic. Well after their beautiful 3 week long relationship, he decided that he missed me so bad, and he made a mistake. Apparently he thinks I'm a 13 year old Jonas brothers fan. I called shennanigans...I don't wanna see Reverend Lover ever again. Yet he texts me pretty much every other day asking if I'd like to go out with him. These have been my various (and I swear, true) responses:

"We already had our chance"
"I don't want to see you."
"We could be friends, nothing more."
"I don't want to see you."
"I'm way too busy to hang out with you, ever."
"...I don't want to see you."

And each time, he texts me that he misses me and asks when he can see me...as though those responses didn't exist. He pulled the, "but don't you miss spending time with me?" card. I finally had to be blunt: "There is absolutely nothing between us. I have said this. We have no connection, at all."

Cold. Harsh. To the point. Like pulling off a band-aid, or sleeping with your professor; it's just better to get it done quickly.

Teaching the oblivious a lesson,

Ivy