You know what’s worse than the Booty Call? The Emotional Booty Call…via text. Now, many of you might not be familiar with what this is (and by familiar I mean have a guy do it to you) but, I’m sure most of you are guilty of it. The Emotional Booty Text (EBT) is when someone will text a fallback guy or girl solely for the sake of texting. Variations include “Hey, what’s up”, “how’s your day going”, “I can’t wait to see you”, or, my personal favorite, the “good morning, sweetie” text that’s waiting for you when you wake up.
Now, I have to admit, whenever I’ve been in a slump, I’ll usually start texting some guy every once in a while just to keep me preoccupied, but my latest failed attempt at a boyfriend wins the gold medal for emotional booty texts. After 4 months of being MIA (that’s a story in itself, and should have been a red flag), “Updater“ decides to call me out of the blue. Twice. Within an hour. I later found out it was to invite me to some event because he missed me and hadn’t seen me in FOREVER. He then proceeds to text me. Everyday. For two weeks. All the time. I’ll admit that I fell for it at first. It was nice to get cute little texts again from a boy I was interested in (who actually spelled out words correctly and used punctuation). I liked opening my phone to see some variation of me being called pretty accompanied by an emoticon. (seriously, the ;-) gets me everytime) After a while though, the texts started becoming more like updates and were getting more and more boyfriend-y. I would get texts like “I’m tanning now. I wish you were lying next to me” or “I’m going shopping” or the MULTIPLE “Come to where I am on vacation right now” texts.
The other night, I get the courage (read: make poor decisions while drinking) to text Updater, who by the way doesn’t even go to my school, to see why he decided to start texting me of all girls suddenly, out of the blue. He informed me that no girl at his school was like me because I was really nice and cute and he wanted to see where things went. AWWW. He DID like me. Oh, wait, bullshit. He hadn’t spoken to me in 4 months. Try again. He went on to tell me that He really liked me. So, luckily, I DO get a little more ballsy when I’m drinking and called him out on it saying he didn’t know a thing about me and he pulled the “True, but I want to know more” card. Which I fell for. The next day, I asked Ivy what she thought about Updater. She said he was insincere. So then as the EBTs continued, I realized that I was like, the replacement girlfriend. He didn’t need to get any (he’s hot, he probably already was) but he needed to have some quasi-emotional thing going on- even if it was only through text.
So, how do you know if you’re a victim of the EBT and the guy’s really not sincere. Well, if you’re me, you’re writing this blog as you wait for the guy to come hang out with you like he suggested in the first place. Really though, if a guy says “I can’t wait to see you” guess what, unless he actually comes to see you, he can, in fact, wait. If nothing happens outside of texting, or facebook, or any other form of technology, they’re just EBTs. And really, that’s pretty much like you’re going back to the junior high days when you’d go in the “Kids Only” Chatrooms on AOL and talk to some guy across the country…oh wait…maybe that was only me and my friends….
I’ve decided that this is the more dangerous form of the booty call. At least with a Booty Call, you have the option to get something out of it. But with the EBT, you become accustomed to having someone to constantly tell how your day was, get cute comments from, and receive a never ending supply of various smiley faces. You don't get anything out of it other than the security of always having someone to "talk" to and this sucks, because lets face it, when you’re texting someone 425 times a day, you kind of expect something other than a huge phone bill to come from it.
Thank God I have Unlimited Texting
Ally
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