I decided to give my grandma a call tonight to say “hi” and let her know that I was doing alright and that I had, in fact, been eating the last week since I had seen her. While we were talking we went through the normal “how’s school, how’s work, blah blah blah” and after all that was done with, she moved on to her favorite topic: My dating life. Or as I think she sees it “How long until I have great-grandchildren.” Really though, for a Greek grandma, I must say, she’s not really too overbearing about my love life. Sure she asks me every time I see her, but I like when I talk to her about it. Why? Because unlike the rest of my family she’s asking because she’s interested in my happiness, not my marital status. She’s also very funny when it comes to guys that screw me over. (And she gives surprisingly good revenge ideas…)
Ivy and I went out for food the other day and I got to talking about a story my Grandma once told me when I was younger. Back when she lived in Athens, some young good-looking guy continually asked her out until she said yes. They were going to meet off of some bus stop and head to wherever he was supposed to take her. When she got to the bus she found him reading a magazine at the little newsstand by the stop. She got back on the bus and left. Upon hearing this I told her that what she had done was mean and socially unacceptable, but her response was a little shocking. It was something along the lines of, “He should have been standing there waiting for me. Clearly I wasn’t that important to him, so I went home.” I told her that he was probably nervous and just passing time; she said he should have been nervous. And more eager to see her. She always has wanted me to remember that if a guy does not give me 120% of his attention then he’s not good enough for me.
Back then, I really didn’t understand what she was trying to say. I thought I did, but about 6ish years later, I finally realized how right she was. I mean seriously, how many of us get excited because we get some variation of the “Wut r u up 2 2night” text? I know I’m not the only one, and for the record I don’t associate with boys who type like that. (“fone” boy was an exception and I will not do that again.) Have our standards for the guys we like really dropped all the way down to communication through texting and Facebook? Because let’s face it, an actual CONVERSATION on the phone really doesn’t even happen anymore. Here’s the problem though. It’s kinda our fault. If we don’t expect more, we’re not gonna get more. If a guy knows we’ll respond in .7 seconds with a time, location, and the percent chance that he’ll get laid that night, he’s not going to magically become the sweet, romantic, attentive boyfriend we think he can be. Shooting someone a text is not giving them 120% of his attention- realistically he texted you after he died while playing Halo or whatever other games boys play on Xbox.
Now, I’m not saying that I’ve listened to my grandma’s advice lately, but, I’m saying that I need to start because she’s right. She may be a bit extreme, but she’s still right. Who wants to be with someone who doesn’t give you his undivided attention? I’m an attention whore, so I sure as hell don’t. I want to be with someone who can’t wait to see me. Or talk to me. Not text, but actually talk and find out how my day was. And let’s face it, deep down, almost everyone wants that. Instead though we settle for the boy that texts us at 10:57 Thursday-Saturday and convince ourselves that it means he wants to spend time with us. It doesn’t. He just wants to get laid.
Because I love my grandma and she’s my hero, I’m making a list of the top 5 best (most recent ones that I remember) pieces of advice and commentary she’s given me concerning my love life, or most of the time, the lack there of.
5. “Invite lots of other boys to your party and then flirt with all of them in front
of him.”
4. “Let me guess, he called you over winter break to hang out? Well, you should
tell him to meet you somewhere, and then don’t go.”
3. “Boys in college are dumb. They don’t know what they want. Well, they know
what they want, but you better not be giving them that…”
2. “He was two timing you?! That’s ridiculous. If anything YOU should be the
one dating more than one person at a time and then dumping HIM.”
1. “Boys only want girls who are easy and will sleep around. You’re better than
that, and one day you’ll find your prince charming who doesn’t want an easy
girl.”
Well, she was half right about that last one….
Ally
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