Booty Caller is such a relentless, well...Booty Caller that it has become hilarious. I would like to include a brief analysis of our correspondance from this weekend:
Friday:
11:07 pm- "What's up?" Yes. I bet you really want to know how my day went. And you want to know right now, at 11, through text message. Needless to say, I simply didn't respond. I bet the suspense was killing him. How was he to find out what was up? HOW?!
12:53 am- "I have nothing to do let's meet up." Oh, okay. Yeah, let's meet up! What did you have in mind? I know a really great sushi place off Rush. Too bad it closed 3 hours ago. Oh, plan B! Let's go back to my apartment and have sex... sounds good! Okay so my actual response was more along the lines of, "I'm out right now." Short and to the point, though not as deliciously dripping with sarcasm.
2:14 am- "So you don't want to meet up? It would be fun..." Fun, you say? Well I could never say no to fun, you got me, I am a sucker for fun! Oh...are you going to bring Scrabble?! You sly dog, you!
Saturday:
1 am- "What's up." Man, improper punctuation this time. Now I can't even tell if it is a question, or he is informing me that what is up. I responded "Busy."
1:27 am- "We should meet up." Good suggestion! It's also new and fresh, it is not as though you have been suggesting this past midnight every single night since I gave you my number, you moron. Listen, I said no the past 7 other times you've booty called me. Do you even HAVE other people to booty call? What kind of serial booty caller doesn't keep some sort of rotation going? What a novice...
Conclusion- Booty calls are a jackass move...if the person is actually responding to them. Otherwise they just make you look weird and pathetic. In our week of texting, Booty Caller has only been making the same three statements, "What's up" "Let's meet up" "It would be fun" For Christ's sake, I feel like I'm getting text bombarded by Smarterchild. Think up some new material.
I will sleep with you when you ask before 9 pm,
Ivy
literally had to stifle myself in the middle of class from this post.
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