Everything I need to know about dating I learned in PreSchool...

Alright, let's not kid ourselves.  By "earlier today" Ivy means we've had this conversation virtually everyday for the past 3 years. I complain to her a lot.  In fact, last night my friend/coworker told me that I needed a hobby. I told her I found one. Blogging.

Anyway, I may or may not have said that NO ONE is interested in me (and by may not I mean definitely said), even though several hopefuls clearly are. But like Ivy said, these are not boys that I consider worth more than 20 minutes of my time.  Instead, I'm still obsessing over the boy from two weeks ago (Emotional Whore Boy), who I'm fairly certain is also wasting his time on a girl named Ashley, oddly enough, although she is not Asian.

Now, this problem the Ivy and I (and pretty much every other female on the planet) have is probably the most common dating trap ever.  We long for that which we cannot have. It's like walking down Michigan Avenue without a wallet, but worse.  I'm pretty sure the root of this can be traced back to preschool. Back then, little Bobby would pick on you by calling you names or stealing your lunch box and you HATED him. Then one day, he started stealing another girl's lunch box instead. And lets be honest, her name was probably Ashley.  So what was your next move? Try to get Bobby to go back to giving you all his attention.  Realistically, if you got it back, you became bored and annoyed and wanted him to leave you alone.  But at least you had the satisfaction of knowing that Bobby liked you again and not that stupid Ashley.  

Fast forward to College, and here we are obsessing over winning the affection of a boy who no longer is (or in some cases, never was) interested in us.  Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Well, I believe it can be explained through something my Uncle once told me about: Little Boys Syndrome or LBS.  LBS is named after the actions of little boys in regards to their toys. Say little Timmy is at home playing with a truck instead of any of the other 15 million toys he has.  Well, God forbid if you walk up and start playing with the GI JOE at the bottom of the toy bin that he probably didn't even know he had, because he will INSTANTLY want it. Why? Because you have it.  Not because he wants to play with the GI JOE, or because he thinks it's cool (It's not. It never was) but he wants it because now that OPTION of playing with the toy is gone. 

When a guy gives you his attention, you're calling the shots.  You have the option to respond, or not respond.  If you leave the guy at the bottom of your toy box of life (that was lame, but I am rushed and can't think of anything better) and that boy stops calling you or texting you, well, then you have nothing.  And what's worse is that you know you COULD still have his attention if you wanted it in the first place.  But now you don't and you want it back.  You don't really want him, you want the IDEA of him (OK. yes, I know. I hate that phrase too, buuuut I think in this case, it's true).  You want his attention and you want the security of having that guy around if and when you need him.

Here's the part where I have my epiphany and realize I've been a horrible person for the last 15 years or so.  It's not fair. Stop pining over the guy that doesn't like you anymore. If you had it and blew it, it's your own fault.  The guy should be allowed to move on and find someone that believes he is worth more than 20 minutes of their time.  You probably don't even really like him. You just like that he called you pretty. And you are pretty.  But you can find someone you actually like to tell you that.

I really don't hate (most) girls named Ashley and realistically, I won't take my own advice,

Ally