I was having a conversation with Ally earlier today. She was making that tried and true girl claim, the one that makes every other girl kind of want to slap you in the face- "No guys like me. At all." Well, that's just not true, and I told her as such. She replied, "Okay. I have Fone. And some guy who texts me every other day despite me not answering." My knee jerk reaction was to tell her that since they were technically human beings, she could not say NO ONE liked her. Then I thought to my own situation.
I've been claiming lately that no one wants to date me. But that's not true exactly. What I mean is no one I consider worth more than 20 minutes of my time wants to date me (Ouch! Hey I'm not saying they are worth no one's time.) To tell the truth...this seems to be the case with me a lot. At any given time, I will have 2 or 3 guys I am definitely not swooning over trying to make me...well, swoon over them. But at any given time, I will also have 1 guy who I think the sun rises and sets for who decides that he'd rather date an Asian or a girl named Ashley.
Which is the disease and which is the symptom? Something is going on here. Either a.) I'm psychologically wired to only pine over the men who reject me, or b.) The types of guys I like do not like me (presumably because I do not fit the Asian or Ashley criteria. And fine, maybe a few other reasons). To be perfectly honest, I've been trying to work out a way to analyze this. But I'm really, really not sure which came first, the desire or the rejection. I would hope it's option a, since I can actually make some futile attempts to fix my rejection-obsessed psychology. But it may just as likely be option b...which is something I have no control over.
That's it, kids. There is no enlightening ending to this one.
Clueless for the cure,
Ivy
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