Is there a function which prevents attractive guys from reading my blog?

So I was at a house party last night, casually sipping on some fine imported beer (fine..slamming Solo cups of Busch Lite), when I began talking to (what I kind of remember was) a pretty cute dude. So we start talking about things we like to do for fun, and since there is actually nothing more to my life than blogging, I was all "I LOVE TO BLOG!!!!!11one!"

So God bless his heart he either was interested in my blogging passion, or at least pretending to be so that I would make out with him a little, but regardless...he asked me to write down my blog. Shit. Fuck. Damn. This thing is more of a love life killer than syphillis; All I do is rant about how terrible men are, and how I want to commit some sort of gendercide on them. Do I really want a cute guy in a tweed blazer knowing that man bashing is what I do for fun on the weekends?

Part of me thinks...damn straight! I have a lot of hot and awesome qualities, and this guy should have a sense of humor about this. The larger part of me was thinking..."Can I just lie and say I blog for hipsterrunoff.com?" Against my better judgement (drunkenly) I wrote down this blog. This very blog. Shit. Fuck. Damn. Cat's out of the bag...I am a psycho chick who will systematically kill off all of your pets if you forget to call one night.

Note the sarcasm, please...I guess my main point/rant is I question the motivation in basically lying about who we are to bag some hotties. Granted it's best not to spill out your darkest secrets about how you wet the bed until earlier that morning, but we go to amazing lengths to hide so many aspects of ourselves. Try not to do that annoying horse laugh. Don't talk about your undying hatred for Nickleback for half an hour straight. Don't tell him you have secret aspirations to be in a Dentyne ice commercial. Don't be too weird or too bland. Do NOT tell him you run a blog dedicated to how much you hate dating.

Don't, don't, don't doesn't leave a lot of room for do (THAT was a clever sentence)...we hold our federal government to a freedom of information, so why not our dating partners? If your entire interaction starts off with less transparency than the CIA, it's not going to be so pretty. So what...I'm a mix of things. I'm funny, intelligent, a good conversationalist...I'm always awkward, neurotic, and have the alcohol tolerance of a ten year old getting over mono. Why conceal the shit, when you can present it in a funny and enlightening manner! And one day, a few months down the line...he will find out that you run an anti dating blog, he will find out that you wrote about him, and he will think it is creepy. Might as well have a good laugh from the start.

What you see is what you get (and I know you're picturing me naked anyways),

Ivy