Put the kids to bed

Because dating ulcers is about to get slightly X rated. Well as X rated as a half prude Arab girl gets, really. So the other day I was sitting around in a room full of girlfriends, and the witty banter somehow turned to orgasms. And how I was the only girl in the room who had ever actually had one. The excuses seemed to all be variations of the following:
"I've never slept with a guy I was close enough with emotionally to orgasm"
"Boyfriend is great...but he's just not really that experienced"
"I've never actually done anything more than dry hump"

Well my response was simply...Ladies, DIY! God put vibrators and showerheads on this earth for a reason. The resounding response was, "Ivy, you freak, it's weird to masturbate." Oh, right, my bad. It's much more normal to look for sexual pleasure with guys you're not even comfortable enough with to climax, or to have sex 100 times with the same dude without him ever getting you off.

But...that is just the female mentality. Certain things we accept we have to get from a man, such as orgasms, emotions, and validation...but why? We have the same creeped out attitude towards masturbation as we do towards single life. We'd rather be with a man no matter how unsatisfying it is, than have a possibly rewarding experience by ourselves. Maybe actual masturbation is a lost cause for 70% of women, but learning how to emotionally get yourself off might be worth exploring!

Why is it that we look to men, to relationships, for so many of the feelings we could get elsewhere during the dry spell? Fun, sexiness, and validation are all possible without a male partner, but we all seem to ignore this. When we're not with someone, and I mean ANYONE, we feel sad and mopey. But if we can get someone, and I mean once again ANYONE (even the creepy balding guy who hits on you in the elevator of your building, you know who I mean, he smells like Coolwater exploded on him), we feel as though our lives are infinitely better.

Well guess what. If your date is not stimulating (dual meaning fully intended) in the least...what are you really getting out of it? Bored. Unfulfilled. You know what you SHOULD do instead of getting involved with Mr. Filler? Go on Netflix and order yourself a copy of Love, Actually. Then remind yourself that a DVD made you feel more emotions in under two hours than some filler guy ever could. And if you're feeling really adventurous, let your mind wander to the idea of a You, Hugh Grant, Colin Firth three way (British men aren't always so polite).

If you want it done right you gotta do it yourself,

Ivy