Remember how God gave me cellulite for my 20th birthday? He gave me gray hair for my 21st. And as I sat there this morning looking in the mirror applying undereye cream, mascara, hairspray, foundation, bronzer, eyeshadow...I thought, WHEW, fucking long beauty routine, and in a few years I'm going to have to add more. Then it dawned on me:
This is as hot as I am ever going to get. There's nothing left to grow into, my breasts won't get bigger until I'm pregnant, and I no longer have acne. From here on out it is slowed metabolism and MORE gray hairs. I sat there for a while kind of depressed that I'm not going to get any hotter, when I started expressing my deep seated and weird fear to my Guy Friend. And Guy Friend replied, "Well, no, you're not going to get any hotter. But you're over your awkward phase, and you're going to stay attractive till your mid-30's"
Well, thanks Guy Friend! You should've said mid-40's, but I'll take mid-30's (besides, by then they'll have invented some sort of super magic botox). I'm over my awkward phase, and things won't start to get (very) saggy for another 14 or 15 years! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go mack on some hotties...after all, I only have a little over a decade.
Gray hairs look distinguished on some people!
Ivy
I've read that rubbing collagen on your boobies will help keep them firm and perky. But hey, I'm just a fan, not an owner, so what do I know?
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