I was out to a healthy, balanced dinner of wings and beer the other night with my good friend Manwhore. He's not really a manwhore, but by most measures of the term he actually is...thus that is what we will call him (this is my LSAT prep logic shining through right now). Now, he has perfected a sort of behavior that most people cannot avoid; he has actually internalized the wise old adage 'bros before hos.' I mean it. He never ditches his friends for women, he would never date someone his friends couldn't stand being around for more than 15 minutes, and he doesn't pull a disappearing act when he's in a relationship. He stays a reliable, bar crawl ready, always there to talk friend.
Dude, even I've been guilty of ditching out on friends to stare into the pretty puppy eyes of stupid jerks I was inexplicably obsessed with. I don't become the MIA friend by any means, but I've been guilty of blowing off plans with friends to eskimo kiss and cuddle...I can't help it! I asked him how he manages and he replied,
"Well, there are 3 things I look for in a relationship. Someone I can hold meaningful conversation with, a sense of adventure, and explosive sex. You guys manage to give me the first two...and I can find the third thing pretty easily."
And you know what? I think most people can find this is applicable to themselves, as well. If you write out a list of dating standards, you'd probably find your friends will cover you on 3/4 of these things (and if you have REALLY good friends, they'll even go down on you!) Manwhore's comments just got my head reeling...if friendships cover most of our human interaction needs, why the dire, burning, stomach churning need to have bf's and gf's?
I'm gonna use it...get ready...I know it's a dirty word...validation. The only damn reason I could come up with is that my gentle beast of an ego needs to be fed regularly, or it will come down from its cave and eat all of the innocent townspeople. To put it in simpler terms...if I do not constantly have men to tell me I'm hot, funny, and smart...for some reason I will forget that I am hot, funny, and smart. I will assume I am singly because I am fat, boring, and smart (I've never doubted my intelligence, just the cuteness of my ass). I explained this to Manwhore, to which he replied
"Well...you could try not being so insecure."
...what? That...that's ridiculous. What is he trying to suggest? That I don't allow my entire opinion of myself to rest in the hands of others? I sat there astounded by the very thought of being a strong enough person to believe that I am enough on my own. Fine, fuck him, he makes perfect sense. My sights have taken a turn...instead of searching for hot hookups and deep soulmates and adorable boys who wear Converse and horn rimmed glasses, I'm going to work on self love. No, not masturbation, I do that more than enough anyways (...just...kidding?)
And it's not all on my own, either. I have my friends for adventure. I have my friends to laugh at my moronic jokes, assuring me that my (arguably) awesome sense of humor is still there. I have people I can talk to for hours, and hours, and hours and not get tired of. Most of them even regularly tell me I'm hot! So I guess all I'm missing at the moment is someone who snores too loudly and pushes me off my bed at night. But I could probably get a friend to do that, too.
Not suggesting New Found Glory is good music by any means,